As I write this I have a layer of makeup melting off my face, my eyes are stinging from lack of sleep, my joints feel tight with stress and I’m currently sitting outside waiting to meet with up someone who wants to talk. To be honest, I’d rather be lying in my warm bed with my face freshly scrubed and eating hot indomie but I’m trying to learn to die to myself and I think this is an excellent opportunity to learn just that. I’m also trying to learn patience lol I’m a very impatient person, I hate waiting but now I’m trying to channel my mind to think of other things I can do whenever I have to wait.
Today was my department’s Kente day (whoop! 💃) Surprisingly, I had so much fun. Surprising because I’d gone for a vigil the night before and I barely got 4 hours of sleep before I had to be up again, dressing for the Kente day and all I honestly wanted to do was sleep and sleep because I was so tired and I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before last either (usually when I’m tired, I’m cranky and impatient and not fun to be around. I snap at everyone for everything and I just want to be left alone so I can sleep 😭). My head was pounding when I woke up and even though I’d already picked my dress up from the tailor, I started contemplating the pros and cons of actually showing up but in the end, I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. Lisa and I decided to pick Ghanaian names to answer today lol and I remembered Somto told me Ghanaians are usually named after the day they are born and since I was born on a Saturday, I chose Kwamina (what? It sounded cute!) And I was so glad I didn’t stay in bed all day – I got to eat turkey (I’m especially grateful for that 😂), dance with my coursemates, take pictures with them and just laugh – and I did it all genuinely. I’m surprised I wasn’t my sleep-starved cranky self lol but then again, it takes so much energy (that I don’t have) to be riled up and it was just easier to flow with everything.
In other news, I have a gazillion messages to reply and people I need to call back (special apology to TM and Josh W ❤) but I wouldn’t trade the peace of mind and time at hand now that I’m trying to discipline myself to stay off the internet. There are times when like clockwork, my fingers automatically reach out to switch on the internet but I immediately stop myself. I’m comfortable with where I am in my life right now btw, I’m learning to enjoy my season and to pick the lessons and grow instead of despising it and crying out to Abba to pull me out. I remember when I was at Guiding Light Assembly, Ikoyi for their Saturday fellowship and a man said, We’re always so quick to ask God to bring us out of our trials but what about the shepherd who comforts us in the valley of the shadow of death? Isn’t that what we say He is to us as well?
My eyes are hurting, I’ve really got to get some sleep. Like 12 hours. Or 20 lol I’m kidding..not really.